Tame
Your Anger
Ashim
Kumar Paul
Do
you find yourself fuming when someone doesn’t keep the words given to you? Does
your blood pressure go through the roof when your dear friend refuses to
cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to
deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your
health and your relationships. Anger is a powerful emotion. If it isn’t handled
appropriately, it may have destructive results for both you and your loved
ones. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical fights, physical,
assault and self-harm. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful
emotion that motivates you to make positive changes. Anger triggers the body’s
‘fight or flight’ response. However, it is really necessary to control the
intensity of anger in a bid to evade some untoward experiences. Here are some
tips that may help to reign your rage!
Cool Yourself Off
Anger
often stupefies us literally. The angrier we grow, the more acumen fall over.
Even the brightest professor can be trapped into the clutch of rage and do
incoherent deeds when he turns out to be enraged. Therefore, give yourself time
to get back in touch with your 'thinking' brain. Take some deep breaths and ask
yourself to calm down. Count to ten and between each count, tell yourself,
"I'm becoming calmer."
Take A deep Breath
There is a scientific reason why
it works albeit we hardly follow it. Anger does not just happen in your head.
As anger goes up, so does your blood pressure. You begin to breathe more quickly.
Blood gets pumped into your arms and legs for fighting. Thus, when you breathe
deeply, the vagus nerve in the brain conveys the message to your body to relax.
Breathe in deeply, and then breathe out slowly. Your out-breath needs to be
longer than your in-breath. If you do this, you'll calm down rapidly and your
blood pressure will quickly normalise.
Beat Your Frustration
Just take a good look at your
life. We all have needs. The need for sufficient sleep, food, attention,
meaning, status, stimulation etc. is a part and parcel of our life. How well
are these needs met in your life? Are you skipping meals? Getting enough
quality sleep? Satisfied in your social life? Not getting your needs met cannot
be an excuse for getting angry, but it does make it more likely. Remember the
words of the Buddha: “Being angry is like grasping a hot coal with the intent
of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Visit
A ‘Happy’ Place
If
you go through a difficult time, imagine yourself in a scene that you are
taking relax. It could be your childhood sportsground, a quiet wood, a solitary
island - whatever locale makes you feel at home and peaceful. Focus on
imagining every detail of this place: the light, the noises, the temperature,
the weather and the smells. Keep dwelling on your happy place until you feel
completely immersed in it, and hang out there for a few minutes or until you
feel calm.
Listen to Music
Listening
to music can be a good choice to calm your rage down. In other words, it can change
most people’s mood very quickly. Listening to bubbly happy music while working
out or running can mingle two methods for stress and anger reduction.
Think
Twice before Saying anything
It
is really necessary to ponder over when you speak to others. Otherwise, you are
likely to say something for which you may regret. Before you will talk about an
issue, it can be helpful to write down what you want to say so that you can
stick to the issue. When you are angry, it is easy to get sidetracked.
Forgive
and Forget
Forgiveness
is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out
positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness
or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you and
forget the deeds done to you, you might both learn from the situation. It is unrealistic
to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.
Write It Down
Very
few know why some people keep journal. It is because, writing has its healing
power. It can help you organise your thoughts, determine what you are angry
about, and scream all you want on paper without making a sound. Try this next
time: if you are angry at someone or something, write how you feel, it can be
in the form of a letter, which you can then rip up or burn. Write about what
has happened and how you feel about it. After you write it down, shred it and
throw it away. It's symbolic of getting rid of those toxic feelings.
